Okay folks, it peers that nobuddys postin' any updated versions a' Thanksgivin' Day..so's I took it upon my own sef' ta' show all the rookie chefs what ta' do..
Here's the stuff you'll need..if ya aren't a rookie it's called the ingredient list:
A Freakin' Turkey - bout' 30 lbs. That way ya ken have leftovers that'll last till' openin' day @ Fenway..
Or - get two birds about 15 lbs each. That way the unruly kids yer relatives bring what refuse ta' sit at the card table with the other fam'ly peaons can fight over the legs n' wings..an' Gramps can gum the livin' **** outa the extree drumstix an' wings an' no fights will start..til' later on when the booze takes over a' he tells gramma what a ho she is..
An' Fred, that Ahole brother-in-law starts flashin' his .32 snubbie til' it goes off like last year an' puts a hole in the cranberry sauce..
Now ya need a lotta wine an' beer - an' bandages prob'ly, but the main thing is that ya take the plastic bag outa the bird..I can still taste the pollymers from when the thing was left in..
So cook the bird an' if ya can't make all the trimmins' like mashed taters an' squash an' al that stuff - then get a couple bags a' Doritos an' a few cans a' peas an' you'll cover them bases allrite..hell, after a few egg nogs nobuddy will give a sheet anyhow..
Make sure ya watch the Pats Lions game - cause that will be a game to remember - I assure ya..
Did I include dessert? If not - just go buy some freakin' pies at the supermarket dudes..geesh..do I hafta tell ya ever thin?
Now - have a real safe an' fun-filled:
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING!"An' don't ferget ta' give thanks fer our combat veterans..they make every day Thanksgivin'..
